Quarantining Enlarged My Ability to Receive & Create Reciprocity
Just when I feel I’ve done a great job of being a receiver, another opportunity, the Covid-19, presented itself to teach me how to further deepen and expand my ability to receive.
In my award winning memoir My Ticket to Ride: From Cancer to Flourishing I wrote about the importance of receiving – especially for women, and especially for women experiencing cancer. I included several profile studies showing how women with cancer are big givers. Giving, giving, and giving until the well runs dry, then attempting to give even more. Major emotional, mental, and physical burn-out is the result.
My daughter, a medical professional involved with the happenings in the medical centers of a major health system in the United States will be glad to know I’m working on this expanded receiving process. Early in the pandemic awareness she informed me I wasn't to go out of my house. She would make sure my husband and I had groceries and our needs were met. According to the data I am a high risk senior. "Really?" said my ego. And, "When did my child start telling me how to live my life?" Harumph! Was I ready to receive in this new manner? Reluctantly.
Age-wise I am a senior. Like many my age, I am active, mentally sharp, and very much in charge of my life. I have created and facilitate "Heart of Courage Circle of Solutions for Life Mastery" workshops and retreats through My Powered By Genius™ business, I am writing my next book, Conscious Dying—Conscious Grieving: Creating the Change Necessary to Heal. I am physically active, and I feel great!
Did I quarantine? Yes. If I unknowingly had the virus, I chose not to share it with others, nor did I choose to experience it. So, I happily quarantined . . . most of the time.
Without the distractions of outside-the-home engagements large blocks of time were available to focus on my writing. Doing this added continuity to my life. I still have purpose and healthy focus. And, to be real, I went to the grocery store twice a month during senior time, and did other necessary errand running.
Did I meet friends for lunch, a concert, a play? No. These activities were replaced with telephone calls from friends across the United States. How joyous it is to hear their voices, their stories, and their viewpoint on what is taking place on their side of the world. The same for Zoom teaching, family get-togethers, etc. It's a new way of receiving.
My sweet daughter, an excellent cook, recently bequeathed my husband and me several containers of frozen "red sauce" she had prepared. She learned well from her Italian grandfather and we are enjoying the benefits we have received from her generosity over penne pasta. Delicious! I joyously received it as I no longer use my time to create red sauce and feed family.
We had neighbors who moved in across the street from us a year ago. We’ve had pleasant superficial interactions, waving hello to one another when we are outside our homes. I really wanted to get to know them better, but schedules didn’t allow that. Recently we all sat in my front yard – at least 6 feet apart or more - and spent three hours sharing stories and creating loving connection and respect for one another. I felt so fully enriched by the beautiful day, beautiful stories, beautiful people when I went to bed that night. I even appreciated having to quarantine so opportunities like this could take place.
Another act of receiving on my part was reading Braiding Sweet Grass by Robin Wall Kimmerer and The Overstory by Richard Powers. Both of these authors enriched and deepened my love of nature and all it provides for our lives. The word reciprocity has a wider scope for me now. How can I be a bigger giver to nature and less a taker? How can I receive what nature offers me in bigger ways? How may I engage in reciprocity in the many ways of my life so everyone and everything is enriched?
I find I make time for giving, yet in the past I’m not sure whether I made as much time for receiving. Now I do my best to do that as well as giving. Am I recognizing all the ways I am being given to? Do I acknowledge the small ways in which I am being given to? How can I receive when I am not conscious of being given to? For me it is about fully recognizing receiving opportunities and embracing them. Every time I say "thank you" to someone, I am acknowledging I am receiving. And, by saying "thank you" I am giving. Reciprocity.
Thank you quarantine for opening my eyes and my heart to the larger cycle of receiving and giving, of how important reciprocity is to growth, abundance, and the well-being of my life and all life.
©2021 Cristina Whitehawk