Cancer is the Messenger—Please don’t shoot the Messenger

When caught in despair, unknowns can translate into immobility. – Cristina Whitehawk

“After [my adult son Joshua’s death, I entered an endless, bottomless hole of immobilizing grief. Sorrow and despair became new life companions, rendering me rudderless. I felt swept out to sea, so far away from my center, that daily living became taxing–grueling–arduous. I did my best to pick up the pieces of my life and business, yet with such a sorrow-filled heart, it felt next to impossible. I was in stress over how to run my business without his help. I partnered with another woman to take our Brain Gym® services in new directions. We were hard working in our endeavors, yet little came of it. Once again, I was shown this was no longer my path. Once again, I ignored it, increasing my resistance to change.

“Caught up in my unknowns, coupled with emotional unease wrapped in grief, I was drained of my vitality and my desire to live. I was living in survival, barely hanging onto life. Now, in looking back, I see I couldn’t let go of what I loved doing, even if I was no longer to do it. 

“I once read who you are going to be determines what you are going to do. And what you are going to do determines who you are going to be. Cancer offered me a chance to dig deep. 

“Who did I want to be? 

“What did I want to do?

It was time to initiate the necessary changes so hope, not grief, and despair directed my life. A major life makeover if you will. It was time to follow through on reinventing my life.”[1]

© 2019 Cristina Whitehawk

As of this 2019 writing, Cristina is 5 years NED (No Evidence of Disease) from stage IIIC peritoneal/ovarian cancer.

[1] My Ticket to Ride: From Cancer to Flourishing. p.78